Friday, October 28, 2011

NBA Lockout Moderator Application

No podcast this week. Instead, I treat you to what Kieran and I think of the current situation in the NBA.

Spen: Will the lockout be resolved today?

Kieran: They have to get to the actual meat of the issue; they figured out all the little stuff but they are still split on the main issue of how to split the revenue. Six days.

Spen: That's acceptable.

Kieran: I'm pissed off like Bill (Simmons). They've had barely a handful of meetings like this. Why in the hell couldn't they have done this in the summer? They cancelled games for no reason because they didn't even try to resolve things until motherfucking October.

Spen: It's supergay, but you had to see it coming when they didn't give a shit in February. The owners did want to lose games.

Kieran: Seriously, I was with the owners for the majority of the lockout. No way should the players have been getting 57% and no way should mediocre players be getting max deals. But the owners did it to themselves. Actually, I think agents are the most to blame, but whatever. This is what you get when the two sides that are debating are rich, selfish, greedy white guys on one side, and the ignorant, uneducated, entitled black guys. What the fuck else was gonna happen?

Spen: You see, the fact that fans are debating revenue splits and agent/player/owner relations is stupid. We care about players, games and gambling. I don't give a shit how much more owners make or what players get paid.

Kieran: I care because when Rashard Lewis gets $125 mil, we get a fucking lockout. There's a direct correlation: every time Rashard has gotten overpaid, there has been a lockout. I blame him for the lockout.

Spen: Haha, that sounds like a mailbag query for Bill Simmons. Can't deny facts.

Kieran: If only real life was like the NBA. You would have been making $1.5 mil per year at the (batting) cages. With $800,000 guaranteed and a player option.

Spen: Which would have made it even more of the greatest job in the world. I can see how if you get paid a ton (even if you're overpaid( you want to keep that system. But with a batting cage lockout, what foreign country do I turn to? Japan? Mexico? Dominican?

Kieran: Probably Japan, I feel like they are both a large enough market to afford you as well as give you the right facilities and make a TV deal.

Spen: Good call. But I dunno, I like the perks of staying in North America. One of the perks, remember, is the Del Taco. They have real tacos in Mexico!

Kieran: I think your best bet is to get in a room and talk for 15 hours and negotiate a rollback plan for your inflated salary and to accept that you could be amnestied in the new CBA.

Spen: "Amnestied" is too big of a word for me. I have limited intellectual capital, remember?

Kieran: How many players do you think are stoked that there's going to be a clause called "and tities?" They have no fucking clue.

Spen: Haha, "just sign here LeBron. Don't worry about the details, just slam some dunks and drain some threes."

Kieran: Literally. Who would be more irresponsible with $10 million? Gilbert Arenas or a spoiled 16-year old girl?

No comments: